You are in my past

You are in my past
So why wont you get out of my head?
I felt so small

Worthless
Unimportant
Stupid

I was never good enough
My choices were wrong, except when they were yours
My art is a waste of time and energy
My books are childish and an escape from a reality I need to face
My job is not good enough
My need to learn, to be a student is a stupid dream, a waste of money
I’m not fluid, just confused
I don’t feel like a boy, its all in my head
I need more pills, drugs to make me how you think I should be
Not those drugs
Those are the wrong ones

Slut
Whore
Crazy bitch
Bad mother
Frigid

I stood and cried without sound
I took every word she threw at me
Every negative thing that she hurled at me
And pushed it deep inside
The jagged edges of the words
Cut my soul into pieces
And I looked into my daughter’s
Sweet, innocent eyes
And got away before she learned to cry silently
I’m free
So get out of my fucking head

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